Category: Let's talk
I was wondering about some things and came up with a few questions that I would like to throw out there to you guys and see what you have to say about them! I am talking about relationships and why people do the things they do.
Why does the other one lie?
What makes your lover lie to you? Are you doing something to cause them to lie? For an example, do you nag at them to the point of them lying? Or what other reasons do they lie?
Why does he/her all of the sudden does not want to spend time with you?
What are you doing to make him/her not want to spend time with you? Or what could be go ing on in his/her life that he/her just hasn’t found time for you any more? Are you running him/her off, or has someone else cot his/her eye?
Why do they say they love you when they are doing the above and ripping your heart out in the process?
They say that they love you and they find reasons why this is all going on, but why do they continue when they know it’s tearing you up? What should you do if it doesn’t stop?
People lie for several reasons, and I'm not going to list all of them here, but I think the top reasons one would lie to a loved one would be to:
keep from hurting them,
to avoid acceptance of a certain idea,
to keep themselves out of trouble so that there's no chance of break up,
or to keep their loved one from intervening and getting involved in a certain situation.
As for suddenly not wanting to spend time with a loved one, perhaps you feel that you're spending too much time with them and need to spend a little more time on other areas of life. Or, maybe the other persons getting clingy, or you feel that they're hogging you from the rest of your friends and family. And like you said, something else could be going on in their life. The possibility is always there that someone else has caught their eye, but that's a matter of trust and faith.
If their hurting you purposefully doesn't stop, leave or deal with it. You can try to stop it all you want, but if it doesn't end, those are your two choices. Well, beside seeking outside help. And another thing, not everyone knows what love is, and some people just say it to make the other person feel better.
couldn't have said it better myself.
Often times people lie if they've done something they're ashamed of. If they fear the repercussions of said action, then they might lie about it.
hmmm. probably you're the 99th love for her/for him and couldn't handle you?
May be the other one is more attractive than you?
or may be some other thing which he or she couldn't express it to you?
But whatever that is, I hate two faced fuckers. telling us that "I love you" in front and ...
Raaj.
I'm glad my fiance and I have a grate relationship and tell each other alot and don't fight much. Yeah we have our ishues but we don't let them rock the relationship. I love him a lot, and i know he loves me as well. I had witness some lieing going on between family members that are married and it got me wondering why they have so much ishues being opened up unlike my fiance and I.
About the i love you thing' My x told me time and time again that he loved me while we were dating, but he broke my heart multiple times and yelled at me and mistreated, and tried to turn me against my friends. I feel he has emotionally damaged me to a point where I can never fully get over what he has done. Saying i love you can only do so much. If you really love someone, you'd treat them with respect and care about him or her.
That's just my thoughts.
I hate lying and liars. In my never to be humble opinion this is the ultimate form of disrespect. As in stealing tangible property, our trust is violated and big holes are rent in relationships.
When I was a young child, I told all kinds of lies because of insecurity. I wanted people to like me so I made up all kinds of stuff about my family etc. When I got caught, I had to get up in front of the entire school and appologize to everyone for lying. This little lesson stuck with me to this day.
People also lie because of expedience. You know it is easy to make something up that is a half truth to avoid a bunch of hassles.
Something that most people don't get is that you can tell the truth lovingly which avoids the lying trap we so easily can fall in to. For example, I am wearing a dress that makes me look like a hog on steroids. I ask you what you think of it. You can lie and say you love it, say "good gosh, that looks like a bedouin's tent," or say something like "i imagine it looked different on the rack then it does now. Although the color is very nice, some people might think it makes you look fat." Which choice would make you feel better?
Believe it or not, some people like being lied to about how they look sometimes. Or, it's just that they rather wouldn't know, hear, or accept the truth.
I'm sorry, but I have to say, in one short answer:
Usually, NOT ALWAYS, but usually, I believe that people do crap like that just to "get out" of the relationship without being truthful. They'd rather hurt you, without telling you the truth. Having said that, some people genuinely believe that lying to you is "better" then telling you the truth, & that telling you the truth would "hurt worse" then lying.
For example: "I'm breaking up with you because you suck in bed & I've tried to explain that for quite a while without saying it."
Would you really want to hear that? (That's just, as I said, an example). But I know that would kind of hurt my ego if I ever heard it.
With my parents, my mother walked out after 25 years of marriage & said about 5 things.
1. It's not your Father's fault, it's mine.
2. It's half your Father's fault & half mine.
3. We just "grew" apart.
& 4. & probably my favorite: "I need to find myself."
My Dad said: "You're right here. What do you mean you need to find yourself?"
That comment was made long after the "separation" which turned into a "divorce". He wasn't mad anymore, he was just making fun/light of it all, which is waaay better then I did. I almost killed her (& yes, I mean, literally, not figuratively). But that's a whole other story for another board. Lol.
Oh, & 5: (said to me). "You're right, I'll never be good enough for this family."